MY ADVICE TO GRADUATES...
As someone who has been around for half a century, my wisdom goes way back. In fact, the first bit of advice I am going to impart to you comes from a quote that was posted on the wall of my sixth grade classroom, “It is Better to Remain Silent and Appear the Fool than to Open Your Mouth and Remove all Doubt.” Now, that’s not to say you should never speak up in life, and never be afraid to raise your hand (teachers and professors love audience participation). However, there are certainly times when keeping quiet is the better choice. If you don’t believe me, check out Mike Birbiglia’s stand-up show called (funnily enough), “What I Should Have Said was Nothing.” (Tales from my Secret Public Journal) on Netflix. https://www.netflix.com/title/70091304
Then in high school I was like most teenagers that when I turned the golden age of 16 I signed up for Driver’s Ed, more out of a sense of obligation and peer pressure than any real desire to get behind the wheel of a car and be in charge of a two ton death machine (dramatic, maybe, but this was a responsibility I took pretty seriously and still do). Anyway, I remember two pieces of advice from my gym teacher/driving instructor: “Never assume.” By that he meant, just because you see a car approaching with its turn signal on, never assume they’re going to turn. They could just be one of those absent-minded drivers that turned it on six blocks ago and forgot to turn it off. Also, you’re lucky if the car in front of you even opts to use their turn signal, hence the reason for allowing one car length between you and the car in front of you.
The second piece of advice was “always change your tire yourself” as this is a basic skill everyone should know how to do. So, what happened the first time we got a flat when we (me and my fellow classmates) got a flat during a driving lesson? We drove to a gas station and let a mechanic change it for us. Incidentally, I once got a flat after having a nail lodged in my brand new tire, so what did I do? Yes, that’s right, I called Roadside Assistance. Although I know where my spare tire and jack are located, there’s no chance in Hell I would be able to safely change the tire in anything less than several hours probably (and I didn’t fancy it on the cold winter day it happened). That’s why we pay for that service as part of our car insurance. So kids, my advice to you is maybe learn how to do it and definitely know where your tire and jack are located, and be able to access them, but at the end of the day it’s probably best left to the professionals if you have that luxury.
Moving on….
Never be afraid to learn something new whether it’s a job skill or just a fun hobby because you never know what it could lead to - from something as major as a new vocation or a promotion at your company to an enriching way to spend your spare time. You’re never too old to learn and these days you have a lot more options from in-person learning to You Tube videos to old schoolin’ it by reading a book about it. (below - my new hobby as an amateur barista)
Get out there and meet as many people as possible. You can never have too many friends. College is definitely the best place to practice this and is certainly the most natural setting since that’s kind of what the purpose of college is (besides earning a diploma of course). Some of these people might become friends for life (and not just sorority sisters and fraternity brothers), so reach out and get to know your peers. A special shout-out to my college friend, Valerie, whom I still keep in touch with to this day. Glad I met you at Kent all those years ago when we were young and still hadn’t really started our lives yet.
While you’re doing this, don’t be afraid to be daring and bold. Make memories. You should start this sooner rather than later or you will have nothing to talk about at your class reunions. Not everyone will have a high school experience like those depicted in a John Hughes film (Bueller, Bueller, Bueller…), but do what you can outside the classroom. Go out for sports or join an organization, then hang out with your classmates on the weekend. Pull a few harmless pranks (but make it more daring than doing a Greg Brady by stealing your arch rival’s school mascot and hiding it in your attic bedroom).
I had a former coworker who encouraged his kids to never accept less than the best. That’s fine, but until diamonds and gold are bestowed upon you, be grateful for what you get. Also, until you can afford Tiffany’s and Barney’s, I’ll see you at Target and Walmart. This goes for jobs too. Unless your daddy owns the company, be prepared to start at the bottom and work your way up. Also, never forget those who helped you along the way, and try not to burn your bridges.
Give back to your community and try to make time for charitable acts, and don’t just do them to score points with your boss or significant other. Do it from your heart because you feel grateful and genuinely want to help. That will shine through and pay dividends far exceeding recognition from the charity. This is also an excellent way to fill in the time between jobs and always looks good on a resume, as well as providing you a sense of purpose until your next paycheck, or after your last one if you’re retired.
Really most of these things are common sense (which, isn’t necessarily spread evenly among people), and you can’t do wrong if you follow the Golden Rule (do onto others…)
My last piece of advice comes from one of my comedic idols, Rodney Dangerfield, who said in his college commencement address (“Back to School”), “It’s rough out there! Move back with your parents and let them worry about it!”
CONGRATULATIONS RHYS!!! (my nephew and God son)
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